I want to stick my p in your. b.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
