And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
