dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
