Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize