this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
