I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
