Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox