I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.