we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.