her vagine was all disorganized.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
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I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
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I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises