her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.