I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
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He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
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ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina