Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
