Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
