So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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