hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
When are your genitals available?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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