Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
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just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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