after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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