11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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