I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
