You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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