I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
