Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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