woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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