You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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