just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
