Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize