There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
