I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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