he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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