dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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