We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
COCAINE IS GR8
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
