Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
