that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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