Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
