I forgot how hot balto sounded
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
