then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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