my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
