He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
