she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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