Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
