Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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