Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
