): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
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I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
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Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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