"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
