we're blogging at a bar
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
