your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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