Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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