Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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