you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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