I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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