I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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