You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
