If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
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It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
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I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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