Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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