I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
