Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
