I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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