Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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