thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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