i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
