Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
