Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
