I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
