so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
