just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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